Being Thankful is About More Than Just Being a Turkey

Thanksgiving comes around every year and we routinely express our appreciation for some of the positive aspects of our lives. It's a great little reminder to stop griping about every little thing that doesn't go our way.

We typically go through the motions of giving thanks for friends, family, health and the scrumptious food. But, what about the things that get overlooked?

For instance...I'm grateful for palm trees. Yup, palm trees. There isn't a negative thought in the world that can sneak its way into my mind while admiring palm fronds blowing in the wind. Really, it just makes me want a hammock.

How about...green lights? Just the other day, I hit green lights for an entire day in my travels. I slipped on my "S" cape and conquered the world that day.

I'm grateful for...my journey through cancer. (Let me explain, I promise I'm not a masochist!) I learned about immense physical and emotional pain and the experience pushed my thresholds to limits that far exceeded what I ever believed I could handle. I became stronger, smarter and invincible to impossibility.

And the giggles of children...there is no sweeter sound. When my boys get to the stage of absolute pure laughter that they can no longer control, it is infectious and musical. In my eyes, it is one of the seven wonders of the world.

I'm especially grateful this year for an invitation to be a positive role model for an amazing group of young girls at the Hibiscus Children's Center in Vero Beach. The Zen in the Den event allows me to teach these girls about journaling, the importance of processing emotions and to share my own journey with them. There is no greater gift to receive than giving of yourself.

So, before you cut into the turkey this year, take a few extra minutes to consider the blessings that may normally go overlooked. And, if you're a vegetarian, the turkey will join you in the good fortune.

Beware of the Dream Snatchers!

As many of you know, my first children's book was released a couple of weeks ago. I can still distinctly remember telling teachers in 1st grade that I wanted to be a writer and getting "the look" that I would see many times in years to come. A look that said, "Oh, that's cute...completely unrealistic, but cute!" It seemed the children that wanted to be Astronauts, Ballerinas and International Spies were treated with more clout than the silly Italian girl who wanted to write.

So, I conformed. Externally, anyway. For a bunch of years I said I wanted to be an Environmentalist. Teachers were impressed. I wrote articles to the editor about ways to be environmentally conscious. And folks, this was long before Being Green was popular. I was praised for writing about such a "creative" topic. Secretly, all I really cared about was the fact that I was WRITING.

As I entered high school, I changed my occupation choice to a Social Worker. I wanted to help kids who have endured many of the trials that I have. Sadly, through my research, I realized that I wasn't built to separate problems revealed to me at work without taking their pain home with me. So, I wrote an article about it in Journalism class. :-) (I'm a sneaky one...maybe I should have tried the whole Spy idea.)

Forbes posted an article specifically about this topic and I find it shameful the approach that was taken by the author, David M. Ewalt.

http://www.forbes.com/2009/02/26/starting-second-career-leadership-careers_dream_jobs.html

I'm a writer and fully believe in free speech and understand the point that the author tries to make when he states that children have unrealistic expectations of what particular jobs pay. But sir, they are kids!! They aren't supposed to have an adult grasp on reality. Is financial sustainability important? Absolutely!! Should the amount of money you earn at your dream job be a legit excuse to throw it all away? Absolutely NOT!!

To also squash a profession because it is difficult to obtain, is absurd. Ewalt states, "...most kids are in for repeated heartbreak when they get older, like when they realize how hard it is to snag a job as a ballerina."

Last I checked, Olympians didn't win medals because it was easy. Doctors don't get degrees because they hand them out to everyone. And writers certainly don't publish books overnight. I don't think telling our kids to pursue things that are easy is the right message. Our country was founded on hard work and dedication.

So, for all of those I tried to appease over the years...I never wanted to be an Environmentalist and I never intended to be a Social Worker. All I wanted to do was write. Through years of naysayers, scepticism and my own determination, I am now doing just that. I wouldn't recommend trying to stop me. The pen is mightier than the sword!


**You can purchase a copy of my book, "The Adventures of Isaiah James: Beach Boy" at http://www.shop.perfectedpenpublishing.com/The-Adventures-of-Isaiah-James-Beach-Boy-BK-AOIJ1.htm .

If Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder, Strike a Pose!

Do you remember a time, long, long ago, before we became a bit cynical and critical of people? Most of us try not to be but let's face it, it happens to the best of us.

That stage of innocence was an amazing time. We loved people for how they treated us, the way they made us laugh or how they comforted us when we needed it most. They were beautiful people inside and we saw them as beautiful on the outside as well.

So, where does the transition come in? When did we begin judging others by outward appearances instead of the genuine person inside? Skin color, attire and perceived social status suddenly becomes our compass for deciding who is worthy of our time.

I started analyzing this topic when my 22-month old son picked up a Victoria's Secret ad the other day. He pointed to a brunette model and exclaimed, "Oh, it's Mama!"

Needless to say, I had a good laugh! But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that what Isaiah saw as beauty on the outside, was the same as the beauty he saw in me, on the inside. So, from his perspective, why wouldn't I be the gorgeous supermodel on the cover?

I think when we start transitioning into superficial beings, we also lose sight of the beauty within ourselves. We become over-judgmental of our looks ("Does this make me look fat?"), our jobs ("What if I'm not good enough?"), our home ("Is my house big enough to impress our friends?") and ourselves ("What do other people want me to be?").

I want to be able to see myself as a supermodel. Not physically (Ok, maybe a little lol) but as a whole being. I want to radiate that beauty into the world and I want it to become infectious. Whatever your ideal vision of beauty is...be it! Whatever your biggest dream is...accomplish it! Whatever your most annoying insecurity is...bury it!

Let's all be on the cover of our own magazine. And let's look at each other the way our kids do....without the imperfections.

I'm ready for my close-up! Cheeeeese!

When Sweat Equity Means More Than Smelling Bad

After a long journey through dozens of office spaces, I finally found the ideal spot! While it was move-in ready, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to appearance, ambiance and mood. So, the projects began!

The walls have beautiful chair rails but the blue paint that the previous business chose had a very industrial feel which went along perfectly with the industrial blue indoor/outdoor carpet on the floors. Great for someone...but not my cup of tea.

I journeyed off to Home Depot, which often feels like my second home. I had my paint colors chosen, picked up supplies while I waited for the paint and was surprised by the comments from the men I encountered. Apparently, a woman taking on her own projects is a jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring and "Good for you!" kind of event. :-) I took all the comments as compliments but still found it funny that an independent woman was deemed out of the ordinary.

I spent the weekend spackling, sanding, painting and ripping out the current vinyl baseboards and carpets. I took a chance on the paint color I chose. I wanted something a little different and was fortunate that it looked exactly as I envisioned it would. The next project is getting new flooring installed. I may love my heels but I'm not afraid to kick those babies off and get dirty.

So, what's my point?

Don't ever be afraid to tackle big projects. Don't settle for less than you envision. Try to take on a project that you've never done before. Whether you are successful or not, you will have learned something new. Sweat equity is infinitely fulfilling and after a hard day's work, a shower is a close second.

If E=mc² and I'm a Circle...Where Do I Fit In?

I'm all about running a lean business. I strive for minimal waste, low overhead and superior service. So, when the need arose for me to start looking into office space (I currently have a home office), it took me awhile to adjust.

Running efficiently has allowed me to survive in this tumultuous economy. Truth be told, my business has actually grown. So, taking on a substantial monthly bill otherwise known as RENT, was a little unsettling.

Have you found yourself in these types of growing pains with your business? It often goes in the other direction as well, where you find it is necessary to downsize in order to survive the recession.

I think people beat themselves up for this type of change but I find it to be smart business. You must have the fluidity as a business owner in order to adapt to your surroundings. If you can make adjustments during a tough span to bide your time until the economy improves and more clients start coming back your way, you have succeeded. I think it's those who have a hard time getting past their egos that end up failing in the long run.

When I mention ego, I don't use it as a negative term. I believe that all business owners should embrace a bit of ego. It helps to keep you driven, goal-oriented and proud of the services and products that you offer. But, it is also ego that sits in the back of your head and says, "If you downsize, you are admitting FAILURE!" But trust me, that's not the least bit true!

I've been there...I've had those thoughts. Not many people believed I could make a living as a writer. So, I had to fight years of discouragement, slow times and ultimately CHANGE in order to succeed.

And now, here I am growing, but just as nervous as those facing the opposite dilemma. We sometimes fear success just as much as we fear failure.

I've embraced the change, and know it is necessary for the new writing workshops I will be offering. I know my new space will allow me to help more businesses, children, authors and non-profits. That is truly important to me.

I'm no mathematician, but I know I will find where I fit in...and I hope you will too!

Sabrina K. Carpenter

When Your "Ah-ha!" Moment Follows the Downward Dog...

I don't know about you but my profound "Ah-ha" moments come at the strangest times. A friend of mine is running in the NY City Marathon on behalf of the Michael J. Fox Foundation. She organized a Yoga class scheduled for this evening to raise funds for the cause. Parkinson's disease has touched her family and if I am available to help a worthwhile cause, I'm there!

Tonight was my first time attending a Yoga class, although it's been something that I have wanted to try for months. I arrived a little nervous...not about the new experience because I'm an adventurer at heart, but nervous because I'm a complete klutz and didn't want to end up headfirst into the wood floors. The instructor and other attendees were all very welcoming and warm and as the class began, I found out that maybe I hadn't given myself enough credit. Utilizing the form adjustments from the instructor, I faired pretty well.

At the end of the class, we were all supposed to lay down and meditate. Here's where I fell apart. My mind doesn't know how to relax. I constantly have ideas, thoughts and work persistently floating through my brain at any given moment. I tried to meditate...I REALLY did. But, I found myself looking around the room instead. Everyone was so peaceful and genuinely relaxed. They had smiles on their faces and seemed to just melt into the floor.

Envious of their ability to shut down, my over-active mind started thinking about the last time that I actually slept well. I'm not talking about a flukey single night of decent rest. I mean REAL, consistent sleep. And within a 2-minute span of time, I hit the most profound "Ah-ha" moment that I've had in ages.

I realized that my sleep issues began around the time of my cancer diagnosis back in 1999. I went from being a teenager with little direction to a driven adult determined to make a positive difference in this world...seemingly overnight. That determination which has had numerous positive effects on my life as well as the lives of many others, is what has caused my insomnia. I always feel like I can do just one more productive thing today....just "in case". I can write one more article for a client, I can make one more blog post, I can help one more non-profit...the list goes on and on.

This entire epiphany came rushing all at once and was POWERFUL! I began tearing up as I laid on my yoga mat and the emotions were overwhelming. I tried to mentally talk myself out of it and wipe my tears before the meditation time was over. I was successful and grateful for the experience.

So, I failed Meditation 101 but I still left that Yoga room with a lot more than I entered with. I'm not sure this revelation will help me sleep any better. Afterall, my goals are still the same. But, anytime we can learn about ourselves both personally and professionally, whether good or bad, it is a step in the right direction.

Today, I am thankful for my family, friends, clients and supporters. I promise to continue making a positive difference to those who need it most. And, I'll TRY to alleviate a bit of pressure on myself. None of us are promised tomorrow so I will try to feel satisfied with the accomplishments I have completed today.

Mostly, I am thankful to my friend for inviting me to partake in her Yoga class and especially for her philanthropic spirit.

Namaste! (I learned that today) :-)

Sabrina K. Carpenter

The Inspiration

Oxymoron (noun) = A combination of contradictory words
Oxymora = A plural form of Oxymoron
We are faced with decisions and contradictions just about every day of our lives. I’m one of the strange people that actually enjoys figuring people out. I strive to weigh all decisions, be confident in my judgment and take a leap of faith. I constantly attempt to make sense of even the most complex situations. I’m a woman who loves a challenge!

Hence, the inspiration for the name of this blog, “Exploring the Oxymora”.

I will be discussing everything from events that I attend, extraordinary people that are making a positive difference, thought-provoking topics and ideas, business issues and any other interesting pieces of knowledge that come my way.

So, enjoy as I "try to make these complexities simple". (A line from one of my poems in my new book, "Betting on One Percent" which can be purchased at http://www.shop.perfectedpenpublishing.com/).

I'm allowed shameful plugs! :-)

Wishing you the best in health and happiness,
Sabrina K. Carpenter, Perfected Pen