The "Quasi-Anti-Politically-Correct-Sorry-I'm-Not-Sorry-Post"

 

We live in a society where everyone is trying to find their place. Whether it be within the business world, gender identity, race equality or religious freedom and personally, I think it's a beautiful thing. Each of us should have the right to be whatever sort of crazy vessel that makes our pretty little heads euphoric (within legal limits here, people).
 

But, you know what really grinds my gears? (If you've seen that Family Guy episode, you'll giggle at that reference) At some point, by the time we got to my generation, men stopped being men. They became these lazy, entitled, unchivalrous, Diary of a Wimpy Kid creatures. Lackluster in morale and genetically drained of any sort of respect for those around them. The sort of chutzpah that makes you want to frame your restraining order. 

 

I know not all woman want some of the long-lost, old-fashioned values and I respect that. And, trust me I write this as a generality and know there are many good men out there. But, if I can push past having to write that last PC clause (because that's what we have to do when we have an opinion these days, right?), I find it all rather irritating.

Granted, I know I have an old soul. I envision myself gliding through my days in a black and white TV set, carefree, with a strong, hardworking man doting over my kids and I, kindness in his heart, helping an old lady cross the road, and, oh no, if something ever happens to break, what's this?? He can actually FIX it. 

Yet many of the men in my generation expect everything to be handed to them. And, I don't mean a hammer, because let's face it, would you even know how to use it? 

They expect instant gratification and feel they can treat others in whatever horrific fashion they choose. They can trample on families and choose laziness as their major. What has higher education come to?

There's absolutely nothing that I can't do for myself and my children. Nothing I'm not willing to learn, fix, improve, and bust my butt doing to get things done and provide a good life for 2 boys who are already proving to be greater gentlemen than their generational predecessors. 

The needle in a haystack reference has never been more relevant than today. You really have to dig to find the goods. And, if you find that gem of a human being, hold on tight like the rodeo depends on it. 

There's a reason I like to buy myself flowers. To plant my own seeds. Harvest my own sustenance. I know what I'm ingesting that way. We worry about GMOs in our food, but what about the GMOs within our people? 

I'll let that marinate. 

Being Alone Doesn't Mean Loneliness!

I just returned from my very first book tour and it was an amazing experience. While away, I was fortunate to visit with some family in my home state of Connecticut. I was inspired to write this post based on a conversation that occurred between my grandmother and I.

She asked how I was able to travel alone, without fear, self-doubt and with courage. It was a very profound question because I had never specifically analyzed that aspect of myself until that moment.

There were many years when I was merely a glimpse in the shadow of others. Whether lost in the troubles of family members or allowing myself to disappear while in romantic relationships, I put myself on the back burner to please others for a very long time. It's a flaw that I'm able to admit and learn from; self-growth is an imperative part of life, after all.

Once I made the decision to be seen, and it was a conscious and intentional decision, I had to find out what made ME happy. And truthfully, I had no idea. As independent as I am in certain aspects, there were other times when I was unknowingly reliant on the company of others. I began to make very specific actions that took me out of my comfort zone, and forced me to deal with the discomfort.

Traveling alone was something that was initially very fearful to me. My overly-analytical mind worried about every possible scenario that could go wrong. But, I was determined to look fear in the eye and conquer it. And, that's exactly what I did.

While traveling alone, there is no one to please but myself, no one to be dependent on, no one to shadow my identity. It is so empowering, and exactly what I needed.

This most recent trip, while not my first trip alone, was my first long-distance business trip which brought along with it the need to succeed. When I wasn't attending scheduled events, I was doing walk-ins to as many locations as possible, another uncomfortable feat that I conquered. My book and literacy tour was welcomed with open arms by every business and individual I encountered. Checkmate.

So, the answer to my sweet grandmother's question is that I am able to travel alone not out of courage or without fear, but because it is a necessity in order to better myself. And, I will no longer create boundaries that can stifle my potential. I've learned that I will never be lonely while alone. I'm pretty good company!