Do you ever find yourself attempting to confide in a loved one, only to realize time after time that they end up making you feel worse? Isn't that what enemies are for?
These are toxic relationships and if given the chance, they can negatively affect confidence, self-esteem and trust. So, how the heck do you solve this problem??
In my opinion there are two main elements to consider:
1. I believe communicating about your discomfort should always be a first option. "I was upset and really needed to vent, but you added a lot of additional negativity that made me feel even worse." Paraphrasing, of course. This may be all that is needed to solve the problem. But, be prepared if it isn't enough. Some people may get defensive, some may completely deny that they respond the way they do and others just may not care much.
2. Evaluate yourself. Are you placing expectations upon this person that they are unable to carry through? The only expectations you can control are those you place upon yourself. Maybe this particular relationship shouldn't include heart-to-hearts. Perhaps it's just not part of the dynamic that makes the relationship work.
There is also the possibility that without being able to utilize that person as a confidant, the relationship will cease to exist. That's where it gets especially tricky when you are talking about a spouse or family member. I've been in this situation so many times and it's not easy. Basically, it comes down to making tough decisions, determining what is best for your well-being and setting limits that are both fair and reasonable.
Ultimately, the world has plenty of negativity and pessimistic people. But, I prefer to surround myself with positive individuals who innately support me, without expectations or criticism. A dream world? Perhaps. But, I'm all about reaching for the stars!
